I need to be in Kenosha more than ever now it seems that Kenosha hospital strikes again and I need to get my mother out of there before they kill her! I could just puke after the conversation I had with a nurse at the hospital trying to explain who I can and cannot hold liable, Okay!?. Shall we start from the beginning?
I called the hospital for a status update on Frances I have not called to many times this week foe she is in Kenosha hospital so I don't honestly make a huge effort due to their inability to be objective. They act as if they never had to treat a drug addict before. Is it really that hard when you see a drug addict I mean a food addict needs to still eat, so if its pain the treat her for FUCKIN PAIN STUPID!! Honestly I am the last person you want to go round and round with about the dynamics of methadone in the body, the breakdown of the drug and how it affects someone on dialysis (I tend to be a little more knowledgeable then the average nurse) either way I am pulling her out of there Monday and bringing her home there just wasting time and billing the state with no damn purpose for her to be there. I cannot help feeling incumbent. I should have been there already.
Today was the day I received a better prospective on how much pain Frances is in, and I think she is being a little over dramatic. However I believe the hospital and clinical environment she is most of the time really influances a part on her mood, and the process probably makes her want to get high! Yes! she is an addict (case and point the experiment is run right out the door already) and this could be a major trigger. As I get older, (well mostly this past year) I understand the statement "you parents did the best job they knew how to do" -Savage Garden The blessing I received in the form of wisdom into Frances true condition's was via the universe and I would like say thank you lady verse I love you, when you listen and when you pass, for it is the true nature of all things.
Frances’s kidneys are functioning at 5% which is obviously terrible! However, the data I received from Dr Cappelli (Of the Kenosha Aurora Medical Center (private practice) Family Care) noted, Frances is in Reno but her kidney function is fine (presenting me with a different perspective altogether, I am just not compforatable with doctors doing less than substandard work per their own bias). Nevertheless, this is advanced! 5% even I'm taken back and I never up play her health. Uh it’s only a matter of time now and it is my time to do what I need to do for her, and the first damn thing; is to get her out of that clinical environment and get her feeling like a whole woman again (anyone got a 1/2 a woman?? ha<----JOKE),but you know what I mean. I must set some ground rules for myself to stay in control.
-Ask how serious is this situation?
-What is the truth of this situation?
-Can I present humor and light to an otherwise dark subject matter?
-Be able to move about with a always dependable vehicle with some stipulations
-Jeep is not actually fixed they couldn't find the issue (imaginably getting it fixed in Kenosha (although that is scary to me too)
-Have money to get it fixed (check),
-Alternate get away in the event of Skee and Kathy (-puke-) and all there subterfuges
-Do not be afraid, accept that part of you that will be temporary preoccupied. Frustration (a -). Its easier to be objective and open minded when were not consumed with our own baggage, because anger is a double edge sword.
If my readers have any suggestion for default keeping Paco safe spiritual grounded and objective, moat of you know how this plays out for me. Ill be concerned and anxious about the following, some more than others.
-The broken car dynamic
-Skee, Mike Mothers son. Pure evil
-Away from home, Out of my element, missing Kitties.
-Kathy; Fake Christian with no real morals and a disgusting disposition.
-Missing Jon and my cats, I'm tearing up now thinking of it :(
-My bed at home (lovely) @ Frances (not so lovely)
The goal is to sustain my objectivity, stay calm, responsible, and mature. Be helpful, being preoccupied and possibly overwhelmed with dynamics, I thank you for you love and support I love you, your energies mean so much to me in this time. Please continue reading, for we are the light –together.
Your light keeps, emotional & spiritual, going when I have been used up, you are closer than you think, thank you --Blessed Be--
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That is a lot to digest in one breath for anyone. I would say you almost have to trace back in order to go forward with her health. Her primary- Dr Cappelli and discuss with him when was his last reading of her kidney function as oppose to the new hospital reading of 5%. I mean, don't they do that often when going to dialysis? If it was a short period of time, then why the dramatic decline? What could have caused this? Did she miss any dialysis treatments? Are there medications she should be taking and are not? Did they run her blood on that? I remember she missed a day the last time she ended up in the hospital just prior and you went down there.
ReplyDeleteLots of questions as such when tracing back to go forward. (if you don't mind I am going to ask red some questions regarding rapid decline as I am sure he has some insight).
I think the next key for you is a reliable car so that you can get your jon, kitties, plant and home fix every couple of days.
You might have to rough it for a couple of days without normal comforts but take that out of the equation with bringing anything of comfort possible.
Oh - and Mr. Evil...ignore as much as possible and stay focused on the task at hand. No matter what he says to you...break out the poker face and don't let him think it bothered you. Remember, he is of no real significance to you in this situation. Even if he has the STUPIDIEST idea ever, just respond, "that is something to think about" and move on quickly without participating in it - nothing else - not your opinion - not any action. Saying "that is something to think about" is kind of like "I could be in agreeance with you but lets take some time to digest that." It puts off his direction without really saying no or the arguement he may be looking for. (I am sure he might have his own agenda, don't let him screw up yours and that is how you do it.) I had to do it to my mothers son, many of times...and I still haven't gotten back to him on that thought < HA-Joke...but it worked without the arguement. Its kind of like "stand by" & "and cut". :) Enough of him.
Anyway, one thing at a time, positive and objective when on a fact finding mission - because when you arrive at the hospital and talk to her real Doc, that is what you are on, a fact finding mission. Maybe take a note pad. Not kidding.
In addition, if you need me, I am here (did I even have to say that? :) Even if you need someone to stand next to you on your first trip down to the hospital, I can do that too. Sometimes numbers can be powerful and they won't be able to try and intimidate you alone. You know, the I AM GOD FACTOR some doctors and nurses have. We will talk more.
Try to take some time and clear your mind...when was the last time you meditated? Tomorrow morning sound like the perfect time.
*Light and Love